Saturday 27 February 2010
Shit The Bed!
I'm so excited I've just managed to do 3 cock push ups!
The Infrared is back this year. Do not miss out on these beauties!
Gene Pool Lottery!
For some reason I decided to google people who looked like animals.(This is how I deal with hangovers. It makes me feel better!) Look at what I discovered. It's more like really unlucky animals that resemble fat bastards who sit around in caravans wearing butterfly t-shirts and smoking their dandruff flakes. Look at those beautiful eyes.
Fashion Weak!... Sorry but I need a moan.
Over the weekend i decided to take a trip down to the Big Smoke as fashion week was going on. I had a few invites and thought I'd pop along to see a show or two. (Although I did miss quite alot due to the free drinks and my inability to get out of bed.)
I was hoping to meet some exciting people, as I'd been the season before and had much fun but this time round it was FUCKING SHOCKING! There were a small but dedicated group of exciting, creative and very cool people but the rest were on a shameless pursuit to be very very low level celebrities. I shed a few tears as I realised that this was the end, we had turned into a nation that hungered for a picture in Heat and the price we would pay would be our integrity .
So I sat, observed and feel I have put together a definitive guide to becoming an indisputable famous for nothing wanker.
1] Act Like a complete twat so you get so much attention people think you know something they don't.
2] Be a twin and walk around crashing fun parties by pretending to be part of Vice mag while boring everyone you meet with stories that have no relationship to the conversation, then film your sister getting rogered by a fairly famous blogger.
3]Dress like a massive pretentious PRICK. For example a fashion Vampire.(This was rather popular with the 18 to 25 category)
4]Leave all self respect at the entrance to the afterparty.
5]Use your rough as fuck drag Queen friend to ask girls if you can "intercourse" them as you cannot speak English. NO THANKS!
Then my friends you will be first in line for minor celebrity status and if your lucky you may be even be asked to open your new local spar. Well Done!
Note for next time......Please try better!
I was hoping to meet some exciting people, as I'd been the season before and had much fun but this time round it was FUCKING SHOCKING! There were a small but dedicated group of exciting, creative and very cool people but the rest were on a shameless pursuit to be very very low level celebrities. I shed a few tears as I realised that this was the end, we had turned into a nation that hungered for a picture in Heat and the price we would pay would be our integrity .
So I sat, observed and feel I have put together a definitive guide to becoming an indisputable famous for nothing wanker.
1] Act Like a complete twat so you get so much attention people think you know something they don't.
2] Be a twin and walk around crashing fun parties by pretending to be part of Vice mag while boring everyone you meet with stories that have no relationship to the conversation, then film your sister getting rogered by a fairly famous blogger.
3]Dress like a massive pretentious PRICK. For example a fashion Vampire.(This was rather popular with the 18 to 25 category)
4]Leave all self respect at the entrance to the afterparty.
5]Use your rough as fuck drag Queen friend to ask girls if you can "intercourse" them as you cannot speak English. NO THANKS!
Then my friends you will be first in line for minor celebrity status and if your lucky you may be even be asked to open your new local spar. Well Done!
Note for next time......Please try better!
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