When I Loose My V Plates!

When I was a young Pup in my School there were 3 things that everyone wanted when they grew up, these were Pubes, a Beard and a see through Toilet Seat with barb wire in it. Nice!
But I was different, I had bigger dreams. I always wanted Gout, a Smoking Jacket and a Elephant Foot Umbrella holder.
I would collect slugs 'n snails and sacrifice them daily to my god, hoping that one day I would be blessed with my wishes.
Luckily for me no one listened as I later found out that gout was a right Bastard to have, but the Elephant Foot dream still burns bright but unfortunately for me they are now dead stock and you can longer get or have one. Gutted! So in order to fulfil my childhood dreams I've decided to be a little more inventive and get me one of these instead!

Just imagine this beauty hollowed out and popped by the front door with your brolly in! Glorious!