Let me set the mood for you!
It's a dark, cold night in November. The wind is howling through the large rusted metal gates. The public toilet you are waiting in has Man poo spread all over the white tiled walls. There are 12 missed calls on your mobile from the old ball and chain. Standing there alone you check to see if the condom you taped to your winky before you left the house is still in place (You're Ray Mears ready). You hear voices approaching. The excitment starts to build. A large stranger appears from out the shadows wearing rubber gloves and a Bart Simpson mask. "It's bum time!" he says.
This is how I thought sex addicts behaved. Skulking around in dark places doing evil. It turns out that I was wrong, recent articles show that they live amongst us in everyday life. They could be our Friends, our Neighbours, the person serving cold meats in ASDA, they could even be our Childrens Teachers.
Sneaky Bastards!
So how do we spot the sex addict. Here are some common traits. Read carefully, it may just save your life!
1)Eyes which are too close together
2)Monobrows
3)Tie dyed T-Shirts
4)Clarks Shoes
5)Excessive Ear hair
6) Seamen Stains on sleeves
7)Alanis Morissette
8)Small Hands
9)Rabbits
There is hope though if your are a sex addict, groups are popping up to deal with your problem. The Sex Addicts Anonymous(SAA) deals with sex and love addiction. Thank God.
Lets hear how they can help.
"An SAA group consists of two or more individuals who, using the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of SAA, meet regularly for the purpose of recovering from their addictive sexual behavior( throbbing willies and hungry fannys). At our meetings, we read SAA literature(Porn) and share our experience(Anal Rape), strength and hope with each other, focusing on how the SAA program of recovery works in our lives."
— Sex Addicts Anonymous
I just can't wait to be so old that my shriveled up love tool of deceit no longer works. Only then can I be truly safe from sex and love addiction.
It's a dark, cold night in November. The wind is howling through the large rusted metal gates. The public toilet you are waiting in has Man poo spread all over the white tiled walls. There are 12 missed calls on your mobile from the old ball and chain. Standing there alone you check to see if the condom you taped to your winky before you left the house is still in place (You're Ray Mears ready). You hear voices approaching. The excitment starts to build. A large stranger appears from out the shadows wearing rubber gloves and a Bart Simpson mask. "It's bum time!" he says.
This is how I thought sex addicts behaved. Skulking around in dark places doing evil. It turns out that I was wrong, recent articles show that they live amongst us in everyday life. They could be our Friends, our Neighbours, the person serving cold meats in ASDA, they could even be our Childrens Teachers.
Sneaky Bastards!
So how do we spot the sex addict. Here are some common traits. Read carefully, it may just save your life!
1)Eyes which are too close together
2)Monobrows
3)Tie dyed T-Shirts
4)Clarks Shoes
5)Excessive Ear hair
6) Seamen Stains on sleeves
7)Alanis Morissette
8)Small Hands
9)Rabbits
There is hope though if your are a sex addict, groups are popping up to deal with your problem. The Sex Addicts Anonymous(SAA) deals with sex and love addiction. Thank God.
Lets hear how they can help.
"An SAA group consists of two or more individuals who, using the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of SAA, meet regularly for the purpose of recovering from their addictive sexual behavior( throbbing willies and hungry fannys). At our meetings, we read SAA literature(Porn) and share our experience(Anal Rape), strength and hope with each other, focusing on how the SAA program of recovery works in our lives."
— Sex Addicts Anonymous
I just can't wait to be so old that my shriveled up love tool of deceit no longer works. Only then can I be truly safe from sex and love addiction.
Get help before it's to late!
my friend was wearing a tie dyed tshirt yesterday.
ReplyDeletei look at him differently now.
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